Bryan Echo

To Take a Picture

Song lyrics written a long time ago... music written tonight.

To Take a Picture

Take me to a place where I can take a picture
A place where I can capture what I see
Where light always comes from the sunset
And waves crash as land fights the sea

Maybe its an hour after a snowstorm, a winter wonderland
Or maybe its an undisturbed trail with wildflowers all in bloom
Place me in a field as a hundred ducks take off
Drop me on an iceberg and I'll float 'til it gets too hot

Maybe its a second before the impact of the shark catching its prey
Or the light dancing on the lake as fireflies dance the night away
Place me in the sand dunes with water for a while
I'll take a photo and in it you'll see me smile.

The next phase

This was a notable week at work.  The software project I've been working on for close to a year finally moved from development to testing. 

When I look back its been a great time.  I've experienced a lot of professional growth the last year.  I have never lead a project before this.  And I've had to learn new skills, mostly people skills :)

There's still work to be done but I can't help feeling a tremendous sense of accomplishment.

Show @ The Modified

The band I'm in played at the Modified on Tuesday night.  The Modified is actually The Modified Arts.  Its a venue that I've seen countless bands and always wanted to play.

The show itself was a really good time.  We went on first around 745.  The stage felt big and there was a spot on my side that had a little too much give.  The place isn't in bad shape but I don't think it was ever in great shape. :) 

The first few songs I could tell the audience didn't know what to think of us.  It felt like they were standing a little too far away.  The song Touching the Plate which is an odd 3/4 time had people giving us weird looks.  Then half way through it felt like we won them over.  I don't know if it was the music or the band.   I know we were uncomfortable and a little ragged at first.  But we also loosened up. 

During one song I audibly heard some cheering at the beginning at the cool riff.  Another song Todd the singer ending up running around like a crazy person.  He eventually ended up on the floor of the stage with me beside him.  I don't even know what I was playing but we were having a good time.   Before the show I got complemented on my equipment.  I play a Gibson Les Paul through a Mesa Boogie.  The same guy came up afterward and complemented me on how I played them.  It was awesome. :)

Favorite moment that keeps playing in my head over and over is the start of the last song.  The drummer asked me to count it in so I yelled at the top of my lungs "1, 2, 3, 4!!" and ripped into the riff that carries the song. 

Afterward I had no energy.  The band Sole Function played after us and they were an amazing cover band.  I stayed for about half their set.  Their version of Oh Darling! by the Beatles was amazing.

Being in a band is really unique.  I feel blessed to have these experiences.  I think many people dream of doing it but never try.  I've also realized how fragile and temporary even the best bands are.  I was in a band that was together for two years and played those songs so many times its strange not to play them anymore.

A band exists for a single performance, and then it changes and the next performance is totally different.  The crowd contributes to the vibe and the sound.  The people in the band change.  It could be the mood of the drummer or the bad day the singer had.  So many things influence the performance. 

I'm really happy that we could play this show.  Regardless of who we are tomorrow we were really amazing for a night.  :)

MySpace

Today I logged into MySpace for the first time in a long time.   The band that I am in has a myspace (myspace.com/TheMatrishkaHouse) but I hadn't logged into my personal myspace in about six months or a year. 

I've been telling everyone I know about the show we have on Tuesday at The Modified Arts and I thought it'd be fun to invite some old friends.  Its so weird going back into the past through.  My friends list was a jumble of ex-bandmates, ex-girlfriends, and people I don't even remember.  It was also surprising how many people had moved. 

I think the internet is great but its amazing how its become a record of life.  I can certainly track my life through various websites.  But when you start to look at all these other social media sites it gets really convulated and jumbled.   And how many myspace friends are friends?  Not very many. 

I also wonder where a lot of people have ended up.  Sometimes its nice to see a myspace that's been updated but it doesn't replace a good phone call.  I used to be much more active online but I don't find the connections very deep.  And the constant updating information online, friending people, unfriending, status updates, relationship updates, posting or not posting pictures... its a little much. :)

~Bryan

Into the Wild

Tonight I went to the bookstore searching randomly for something to read.  I bought quite a few books.  One of them is called Into The Wild and its about a man that becomes a hobo wandering the country.  He eventually ends up in Alaska and dies tragically. 

I see a lot of myself in his story but I also see how different I am.  He was a very idealistic young man, estranged from his family, and isolated himself from society.  His dream of going to Alaska seems to have been about finding adventure in an isolated and remote place. 

I've often dreamed of running away from it all.  Hikes in the desert conjure a lot of the same feelings.  Its wonderful to not feel the pressure of society or judgment of even a single person. 

I don't know if I've grown up or if I'm too jaded to run away like he did.  I don't see it as romantic a choice.  I certainly value my relationships and connections more than he did.  If anything it makes me want to strengthen my connections with others.  I'd like to do a better a job staying in touch with friends.  I know I've been isolating myself and spending too much time alone.

I'm about halfway through the book and I like it so far.  I like the way its written and its a genuinely interesting story. 

New Habits

Its that time of year when old habits end and new ones start.  I'm trying to be more aware about it this year.  :)

I took Riley to the dog park today.  Its something that he loves but I have mixed feelings about.  He needs the exercise but it also fosters bad behavior.  That being said we had a great time.  There were hardly any other dogs there so we had the run of the place.  I took some pictures with my new camera which I'll get around to posting eventually. 

Otherwise I didn't really know what to do with myself today.  I went in to work not realizing it was a holiday.  I blame being sick and out of the office for a week.  I worked from home and took sick days as needed all last week.  I got to work at 8 a.m. all ready to work and there was no one there. 

Then I sat around most of the day.  I have a long list of things to do but my motivation still hasn't returned.  Again, see above regarding being sick.

When I think about my life I am happy with it but I'm trying to step back and think about the things I do and why I do them.  There are a few things that I want to do like run more often that just need some effort put behind them. 

Then there are things that are more complicated.  I love the music the band makes and I'm proud of it.  I struggle with how to make it better because its not just hard work.  Its better planning and execution.  Its a creative endeavor that I want to see become more successful.  Creative endeavors are rarely straight line affairs.  lol. 

Writing more often on this blog is one of the new habits I'd like to put some effort behind so we'll all see how that works out. 
Thanks,
~Bryan

Ghosts of Tokyo

Some days it feels like a common theme unites the day, others are just random jumbles.  Its really just my mind trying to bring order and make sense.  Today it feels warm and comforting. 

Several things reminded me of Tokyo. 

First I watched half of the movie Fast and Furious Tokyo drift this morning veg'ing out in front of the tv.  Not a great movie, but it kept my attention.

Then I was reading the Radiohead Blog and it had pictures from Tokyo.  Several members of the band were there recently I guess.

When I think about my past sometimes I forget that I had a unique upbringing.  As a military brat I was a teenager in the densest, craziest city in the world.  It wasn't unusual to me at the time.  It was just how things were. 

There were occasional moments of wonder.  Like seeing a crowded subway station or a traffic jam.  And Japan is full of green trees and lush plants.  There were wooded paths we'd take and rivers we'd play in.  It was gorgeous.  

I think a lot of life is like that.  During the amazing parts you don't know just how amazing it is.  Its only in retrospect that you really get to say "Wow, that was cool!"

Wilco the Song

I love this band...

"Wilco will love you baby.."

Being a man

I was just watching Grey's Anatomy.  In the episode a doctor talks about being a doctor in Iraq and a particular horrific incident.  He's talking about it while being drunk, in the shower with all his clothes on. 

I think being a man is about doing amazing things.  Its about being a soldier, a tradesman, or a statesman.  Its about projecting confidence and capability.  Whether its quiet confidence or brash bravado being a man is about being strong.

This scene made realize that its also about weakness.  Its also about not being able to let your guard down.  Its about not being able to let on that you have doubts.  There's always a loose piece of the armor threatening to fall off. 

And there's something about a woman that fixes that.

The City Life

What is it about the city life?  The maddening rush from place to place.  The pace of life is frantic and always a race.  I think the drive to be the best is too much when there's all these other people.  There's a desire not to show weakness when you're driving on the freeway.  There's suspicious glance standing in line at a crowded restaurant. 

The city life is probably all in my head.  I've never lived somewhere slow.  I've always been drawn to the most crowded places on earth.  The biggest buildings, the brightest lights, and somehow I've done alright.